What did your mother say that made your jaw drop?

About 30 years back, I was speaking with my mother.

Well the other day she came into my shop asking for the usual discount and mentioned that she had tickets for the wimbledon Tennis final but couldn’t go.

Well son “ I think I might have got you some tickets”

What are the main issues that have historically and currently divided Republicans and Democrats?

Well she is so snotty, O.K. she may have married a bit of money, I don’t know but she feels she is above everybody else.

So I said to my sister “ You mean to say that that you leave two empty seats rather than give them to your brother” I replied in astonishment. - “Well yes thats how it works in our circle!” responded my sister.

Do you know what she said mum?

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What! how could you do that?

Oh I said, can my wife have them she would give her right arm to see a Wimbledon tennis final?

“Oh come off it mum what would be the point?”

What makes you feel guilty the most?

“Mum why is my sister such a bitch!”

My mother said to me “ Why didn’t you speak to me about this before”

She said, “Oh no I can’t give you our tickets, if we can’t go, well we don’t go - it is just not done to give away final tickets.”

I have a bad reputation and need help. What should I do?

What on earth has brought this on, said my mother?

True - how I loved my mum!